In this series of articles I want to share with you, briefly, some of what I consider to be the primary causes of rebellion among the youth of our country. I have listed only five because I believe that these are the roots from which other sources of rebellion spring. I have discussed some of these at length in previous chapters and will not attempt to elaborate much further beyond what has already been said. At this point, it is important for us to focus on prevention. This must begin at the cradle.
BORN REBELLIOUS?
Proverbs 17:25 says, “A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him.” Foolishness seems to dwell in the hearts and minds of some children more than others. Have you ever known a family with two or more children in which one child was the absolute model of good behavior and manners and another was an absolute terror? If you have, you probably wondered what the parents did or did not do to produce this obnoxious offspring. The truth of the matter is that the parents are probably still trying to figure that one out too. I have met many knowledgeable, loving, and attentive parents who were at a loss to explain their child’s rebellious behavior.
If you question them concerning their child’s history, you may find that their perception is often that this child was born cranky. In fact, it does seem that many children are born with unpleasant dispositions. Dr. James Dobson describes these children in his book THE STRONG WILLED CHILD. I highly recommend this book because it provides a much more thorough examination of this topic than will be provided in the few sentences I write here.
Beyond being born with a strong willed and rebellious personality, there are children who suffer from attention deficit and behavioral disorders. I recently viewed a film in which the rebellious attitudes and actions of a child left one family in constant chaos. They had successfully reared another child and were overwhelmed with guilt that they had somehow failed with their youngest. For years their family life was dominated by what they considered to be the irrational actions and emotional explosions of this child.
When the child’s teacher advised the parents that their son’s behavior seemed to indicate a need for psychological and medical testing, the parents reluctantly agreed. Finally, it was determined that the child had a severe form of attention deficit disorder. The child was very intelligent, but because of his neurological make up he had difficulty concentrating or focusing on particular tasks for any length of time. He was very easily distracted. He had great difficulty sitting still. Time and time again, his low frustration level and his inability to attend would ignite an emotional outburst that seemed uncontrollable. He would often act and react on impulse before thinking. Thus he created for himself many problems that other children his age would avoid.
The doctors working with him prescribed a medication which he was to take daily along with regular family counseling. Once the routine began, the parents reported remarkable changes. His grades in school soared and life at home was much improved.
The cause of apparent rebellion in this child’s life was medically treatable. A careful medical diagnosis along with counseling provided the strategies for helping this child live a more normal life. For many children, however, medical treatment is not the answer. When confronted with the problem of a rebellious child, we would love for the answer to be as simple as administering a pill a couple of times a day. But when the diagnosis requires us to change, the cure is much more difficult to implement. Our pride (arrogance) feels threatened. We are unwilling to accept that we may be part of the problem.
A strong willed child’s rebelliousness cannot be cured with a pill. The requirements for keeping this child on the “straight and narrow path,” however, are not beyond our ability to achieve. They are basically the same as for any child. To be successful parents, we must first focus on our own behaviors. (Continued Monday)
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